Please, God. Make the Sims stop. I am all alone. There is nobody here. I thought to myself, "now would be a good time to waste my life on the Sims 2 since there really isn't anything I should be doing with my own life."

No, now I am just wasting my life and little virtual people's lives. Do you want to know what I did??? I made the Chat family. As in, les petits chats. Comme, les deux chats dans mon apartment s'appelle Audrey et Gilroy. So yeah, I had fun turning Audrey and Gilroy into people. Really, kind of amusing. The problem is, I didn't just stop there. I started playing them. Then oh shit, I got really into it.

I keep turning it off and getting up because playing the Sims is almost as boring as sitting on your ass doing nothing at all.

But then I remember that the word "almost" is in that sentence, and I end up playing some more.

(They have two daughters, Desdemona and Paysley. Those are the only female cats I can think of right now. They were at PAWS when we adopted A&G.)

OH! And to make it a little more embarassing: I have been using cheat codes. You say, "So? That's the only thing that makes The Sims any fun." That's probably true, but I am not using them balls out, no. I don't have rock star kitties or anything. I just keep realizing that I fail at virtual life and so I keep upping their energy or giving them another $1000 or so.

Pathetic.

Labels: audrey, bored, cats, gilroy, the sims

Hit the "baby" button. It's right there between "popcorn" and "snake," right above "defrost."

I mean, really, when are they going to find somebody not guilty of this stuff?

Labels: babies, microwaves, news

I live in and operate a tutu knitting factory.


Here, we see the main staple of the operation: duct tape. Lots and lots of duct tape. There is so much tape wrapped around the faucet there that if you turn on the hot water, the pressure immediately flips the fuck out, makes strange noises, and the water starts coming out of the showerhead. It's pretty funny, but also very painful when you go to turn it off because you have a lot of hot water dripping on you.














He we see the bathtub/hose set-up as a whole, as well as the final part of the process. "Drying" is actually just hanging tutus upside down with as much as possible over the tub until the downstairs neighbors call the landlord because of water problems.












And here is the work in progress. There exist two kiddie pools, but I only had enough lung strength to inflate one. I'll get around to the other at some point. Water enters pool from hose, mixes with shit tons of Oxy-Clean (note quantity on desk) and then just chills out with two tutus for eight hours. Then, I come back, add some more Oxy-Clean, and flip the damn things over like pancakes. Then they chill out for another eight hours before they move on to the drying phase.





Best. Summer. Ever.

Labels: ballet, pictures, summer, tutus

Atheist Quotes Definitely Worth Taking a Look At

My Top 10:

1. I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence. - Doug McLeod
2. The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. - Richard Dawkins
3. Blind faith is an ironic gift to return to the Creator of human intelligence. - Anonymous
4. It will yet be the proud boast of women that they never contributed a line to the Bible. - George W. Foote
5. I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. - Mark Twain
6. Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? - Epicurus
7. If it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever. - Woody Allen
8. When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion. - Robert Pirsig
9. I wonder who got the shit job of scouring the planet for the 15000 species of butterfly or the 8800 species of ant they eventually took on board Noah’s Ark. But at least we got that magical rainbow for all their trouble. - Azura Skye
10. Jesus hardly made the greatest sacrifice. He knew he would be resurrected anyway. - Anonymous

Labels: atheism, lists

From the Red Eye:
"The landlord of an apartment building in Woodlawn was in critical condition Tuesday after he apparently was doused with gasoline and set afire by a former tenent, Chicago police said. Officers responded to a fire in the 6300 block of South Ellis Avenue and found the 77-year-old man.

For those of you who are not Hyde Park-ians, that is right the fuck next to the dorm I lived in first-year.

Ok, exaggeration. It is not right next it. Like, it's farther away from my dorm than Obama is from my current apartment. But it's still pretty creepy.

Labels: creepy, fire, hyde park, news

Want want want want.

Finally enough milk for me!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article4547604.ece

P.S. I recently went through three gallons of milk in eight days.

Labels: cows, milk, news, want

I have had a request to start a new round of Circle Game. Anybody up for it? Also, I refuse to take part unless somebody convinces Erf to.

Labels: circle game

It's ok, guys. I still love you. You are really freaking awesome. The US Women's Gymnastics team lost their gold to China last night (this morning?), but you know what, that is ok. They were all just so incredibly badass. Because of injuries and general unpleasantries, three girls (Nastia Liukin, Shawn Johnson, and Alicia Sacramone) had to do ten of the twelve routines performed. That's crazy. By the end, they were struggling, and Alicia made some big big mistakes. But dude, I don't blame you. You're still incredibly badass. There's also the whole China forging passports to get girls under sixteen on their team thing. I was pretty damn pissed about that at first, but now I don't really care. I mean, really, the best gymnasts should win, however old they are. The frustrating part is that in that case, the US might not have put forth their strongest athletes. But really, whatever.

ALSO, men's gymnastics? USA fuck yeah!! Bronze motherfuckers! Out of nowhere, even with the Hamm twins gone. That is just sick. Even with a few slips they totally owned. Alexander Artemev on pommel horse? Jesus that was unbelievable.

So, men's and women's US gymnastics teams, I approve.

Labels: approve, gymnastics, olympics

Perseverance - ur doin it rite, but kinda weird

A for effort
D for intelligence
B+ for business card production
F for subtlety
A+ for never letting go of your dreams

Labels: amusing, grades, news

Where is it? Where is my mouse?

My wireless mouse has been disagreeable. Earlier, it just stopped responding completely. So I tried to fix it.

Fail.

Then I begged Lauren to try to fix it. Then I hear, "Oh shit." Now my touchpad is not being recognized. Let me make that clear. That little thing that is an actual part of the computer right below the keyboard? The computer doesn't think it's there.

So this is fun.

Labels: computers, mice

Seriously! The damn men's 4x100 relay. HOLY SHIT. Jason Lezak you are my hero.
I don't really care about my country or swimming, but that was one of the coolest damn things I've ever ever seen.

I'm not kidding here, there was jumping and shouting involved.

Labels: olympics, swimming

Ok, so I was eight year old in 1996 when the Magnificent 7 was the greatest thing ever. I was an eight year old girl. Obviously, I was obsessed. I was an eight year old girl.

And so, after that 1996 highlight of my life, I must forever watch every single second of women's Olympic gymnastics. Honestly, I'm not even sure I consider gymnastics a sport. Competitive, athletic, yes. Obviously. But it's not objective, you know? Not like a race or a soccer game where you just finish first or you get the most goals. It's based on scores, which have a system, but are still subjective (apparent since judges will give different scores to the same girl for the same routine).

But I don't care. That is irrelevant. I simply must watch all of it. I simply must.

Labels: gymnastics, obsessions, olympics

Bert Cohler = Totally Sweet

He's got grillz. No lie. Gold teeth.

Labels: bert cohler, sosc

The news keeps getting better and better.

The Knights Templar want their fucking holy grail back. Or at least some cash, damn it.

Labels: knights, news, religion

But I think this guy should be executed on principle of his argument, regardless of the fact that he raped and murdered two women.

He's fat, but he's still an ass. He's actually much more of an ass.

Labels: fat, news

I don't know how to denote "tiny" with typeface. Let's say it would look like '-.this.-'

Then oh my God look at this '-.snake.-'!!!!

I want one. (Sort of?)

Labels: news, snakes

Fuck you viruses. I have recovered my computer and have decided to go balls out OPEN-SOURCE! This may not seem like the most logical way to avoid viruses, but it is my method of choice. Not just freeware, of course...open-source. Combined efforts of generous hearts across the lands create these masterpieces out of the goodness of their hearts. The bad people are the ones who try to get you to download n0n-free software telling you it's free. Bad, bad, people. Shame on you.

This must sound like the most naive post, like, ever.

But anyway, <3:
7-zip - compile, extract, and all that fun stuff
ConTEXT - notepad for people who don't really like notepad
Filezilla - put stuff online (FTP)
GIMP - make pretty raster pictures (without photoshop)
Google Talk - Talk, with Google. Fuck AIM.
IcoFX - change up all your computer icons, and make favicons for web sites
InkScape - make pretty vector pictures (without illustrator)
Skype - some sort of crazy telecommunications device through the interwebs! inconceivable!
uTorrent - download stuff that you are not supposed to
NVu - put all the pretty pictures you have made and things you have extracted and written and whatever into one nice interwebby place (admittedly, I will miss dreamweaver)
Weapon Closet - DOWNLOAD THIS. 4 realz. it let's you smash your computer and burn it and shoot it with a machine gun and laser gun its ass and lots of other very cathartic techniques for when your computer is not doing its thing

(Note that some of these things are Windows apps only, but stop complaining, do you know how many Mac/Linux only I had to go through to find these??)

Labels: computers, freeware, toys

You know, I gave it the benefit of the doubt. I thought to myself, "Sure everybody says Vista's horrible, but we're just in MacLove right now. It can't actually be that bad. It will have to at least be as good as XP or ME. Duh, right?"

Fuck you Microsoft Vista.

I have had my computer two fucking days and it is already infected with an irreparable trojan, despite you asking me twice a minute to approve applications that Microsoft Corporation created and were pre-installed on my computer.

Gee these two days were fun. Definitely worth the $1500 investment.

Labels: computers, fail, vista

Oh great Blog of Blogerdom. Here you are. You know, like usual.
So, things:

1. NUEVO COMPUTADORA!!! Es boniiiiiiita. It is this one, and it is full of happy. My tablet, as wonderful as it was, was a member of the first generation of convertible notebooks. Hence, though truly exceptional at the time, and really it will always hold a special place in my heart, it was a little past its prime. Also, this time I invested in a chill mat. I'm thinking that probably would have increased the life of Tablet #1 by at least 45 years.

2. There is a cat under my foot. She won't let me reach down and pet her, but she will just sit there and stare at my foot for a while and then rub up against it and then stare at it and purr for a little while longer. That's ok I guess.

3. Why don't I have any guy friends??? List of primary (i.e. most hung out with, nobody take offense) friends: Sreya, David, Joe, Ben, Fegert1, Fegert2, Alton, Wesley, Nick, Gabe (fr srsly), Greg and his dude friends (ok I know that's kind of different, but I'm just emphasizing the dude-ness), even like, the teachers I really liked in high school (Erf I'm looking at you). I am probably forgetting people, but the point is, how many of them are girls? ONE. And come on, Sreya is pretty much a dude. There were other girls I've been close to in my life, Stephanie Curtis until I was about nine, then Shanna till I was, well, still, but not in a we hang out often way, and yeah that's it. Now I can't hang out with a guy to save my life. Instead, I am stuck with BALLETBALLETBALLET which means girls (bitchy gossipy bitchy self-indulgent girls, you know, like me) and gay men. The gay men are pretty awesome, don't get me wrong, but it's just not the same. Also, let it be known that I actually do greatly enjoy the friendship and company of the bitchy-gossipy-bitchy-self-indulgent girls. But I mean, come on, that's what ballet makes you. I miss GUYS.

4. Mon francais est terrible. Une annee apres ma derniere classe de francais, j'oublie tout. C'est triste! Aussi, c'est impossible de passer un autre classe de francais dans le deux prochaines annees, parce que mon change de sujet. Encore, j'adore le langue, et meme si ce paragraphe n'est pas coherente, c'est bon que j'essaie. Je vais lire les novels de Harry Potter en francais. Peut etree cela va m'aider.

5. There is no five.

6. New nattily.org is coming soon. I don't like it much, but I really don't like the current one, and my creativity is just at an all time low. I have to wait until I can get the right software onto this computer to do everything, but it should be pretty soon, because every time I go to my own site, it grosses me out.

Labels: boys, cats, computers, French, lists, nattily