(At a local wig shop, owned by a transvestite)
Store Owner: Oh look who's back. Are you gonna buy this time or you just curious?
Tobias: I suppose I'm buy-curious. I have a big T.V. opportunity.
Store Owner: This is where all the big T.V's come.

<3

Labels: arrested development

Nutcracker #2 of the year today. I'm trying to imagine what number it is of my lifetime, and I couldn't really begin to guess. Well, I could try. 30? 50? Somewhere in between, maybe. Unless we're counting rehearsals, too, which may count because of the incredible Christmas cheer overload they bring on. In that case, hundreds and hundreds.

It was Ballet Florida at the Kravis Center in West Palm. The dancing was about par for the course, but the production value was phenomenal. I've never seen a ballet with so many tricks and flashes and smoke bombs and craziness like that. AND GLITTER! So much glitter! Pushing gratuitous, but not quite. Mostly just cool. However, Marie Hale did come out and ask for money for like fifteen minutes. Maybe if they cut back on glitter...

So yeah, that was fun. It was mostly fun to hang out with Shannababe. Yay for Vero friends.

And an amusing anecdote involving Joe, my mom's boyfriend:

My mom and I are having a debate. The bathrooms in the ice cream shop we often go to in West Palm (Sloan's) have interesting doors. Interesting as in they are totally see through, until you lock them, when they become opaque. My mom claims they are only opaque from the outside, but that you can still see out while you are in them. I insist that they are opaque in both directions. Shanna (who sparked the debate by being the one to go in the bathroom) couldn't answer us, since the women's room was broken, and it was covered up. So Joe went inside to investigate. And to go to the bathroom.

Joe comes back out and announces that my mother is correct. He went in the men's room, turned the latch, and it was opaque on the outside but not on the inside. I asked how he could be sure of both, since he was only inside and not outside, but he sort of ignored me. My mom is now very very happy because she has defeated me, but I know she really hasn't.

Ok, I just typed out the story of why I am absolutely positive that I'm right, but it seems inappropriate, and involves me being a naughty 15 year old. I'll just leave it at that.

Still, no no no, Natalie's wrong. Then I protest, "But they have the signs! There are signs that say 'Make sure you can't see us or we can see you!'" My mom thinks I'm making it up, but Shanna says she thinks she remembers something like that. And then Joe verifies.

Here the story becomes funny. My mother's boyfriend is apparently a crazy old man. He verified that there really were signs up saying that if you can see out, anyone else can see in. And yet...he still went to the bathroom. With a poor woman standing right outside. Looking "not impressed." Crazy. Old. Man. Crazy old man who pees in public. Nice job.

I realize this story doesn't translate very well, and that's ok. I enjoyed reliving it just now with the typing it out. But, if you ever go to Sloan's on Clematis Street in West Palm (and you should because it's awesome) and you have to go to the bathroom, lock the damn door.

Labels: amusing, ballet, nutcracker

Merry after Christmas, guys. How did your holiday go? Mine was pretty sweet. My dad and step-mom gave me a Wii, and that is pretty cool. I like it because it is really really fun, but only for short periods of time. That's good, because I don't have hours and hours to waste on video games at school. I do need a break sometimes, though, so short bursts of fun are definitely a good thing. I am fairly good at tennis and bowling, and I really really suck at baseball and golf. I'm too scared to try boxing. I also got DDR (which I suck at), Mario Party, regular Mario, and Zelda. Regular Mario and Zelda I know I'm going to be horrible at, because I just suck at real video games. Real meaning those that have actual objectives. I can pull off the ones that are full of mini-games or mass killing by smashing A and B at the same time.

Also had fun pre-Christmas hanging out with the high school crowd. It's pretty great to be able to come home to good friends who know you well. We don't stay in touch at school, but I can always come home to them. They are what make Florida feel like home sometimes, which it doesn't usually.

Now I am really exhausted from hanging out with Greg all day, which was surprisingly and awesomely not weird. Greg, I know you're going to read this because you are stalker, so I'll just tell you, I had a lot of fun hanging out. Also I am incredibly stuffed with Pizza Hut. That's a good thing, I think. No Pizza Hut near me in Chicago. No Taco Bell either, so I had that yesterday with Sreya. Good old Vero food. Yummm. Full of grease and wonder.

Anyone want to come over and play Wii? I'm in Vero until Friday, and then back in Chicago. You know you want major hanging out and video gaming time.

Now, maybe a nap.

Labels: vero

So Merry Christmas. It's a good day to be happy.

If you know me at all you should also have some idea of the quantity of milk I drink. It is, well, it is a lot of milk. A lot, a lot. Last year when I went to the hospital my disorder sort of necessarily reduces your bone density to dangerous levels. Me? Nope. They scanned me three times. I have super human bones from the milk glugging.

SO allow me to say that over these last nine days I have had two gallons to ration very carefully, and I did it simply perfectly. This morning I made my coffee and poured the last of the milk in. There was just exactly enough. Like, baby bear style just right.

Lauren, aren't you proud?

Labels: milk

Today was spent coding through the nostrils trying to achieve this humble layout. It is nothing special, but I picked up a few nifty new skills in the process, which makes me a happy girl. Also...it kept me busy ALL DAY! That means I have less than 24 hours of boredom! Ok, well, three hours were actually spent sleeping and not coding, and one was spent on Buffy, but still, it was a good distraction. I even set up an images page that works, even though I totally copped out and am using Facebook albums instead of setting up the code for my own. Honestly? It's way easier. Only need to organize them in once place this way.

Now, I can sleep for a solid nine hours tonight, but what to do with the remaining ten???

I need a party when I get to Florida. Fegerts? Joe? Anyone?

Labels: nattily

Today is the day when sticky tack stops working, apparently. Everything in my room just fell down. Admittedly not all at once, but over the course of three or four hours, all my pictures/porn/posters have fallen down. Sad day.

Labels: amusing, sticky tack

I have a new pastime:
http://alteredqualia.com/visualization/evolve/

Labels: amusing, internets

Student rushed Joffrey's Nutcracker last night. $15! Awesome! It was really fantastic. Definitely one of my favorite versions to date.

Notes, for those who care:

ACT I

1. Why did Columbine come out of a cabbage? The other dolls came out of a cupcake (namely Harliquin, CALVIN KITTEN) and some presents. A cabbage? I don't get it.
2. Was Jonathan Dummar twirling really fast with a little boy on his shoulder instead of doing the parents' waltz? Good call, Jonathan.
3. Michael was Drosselmeyer. Priceless. Rather fantastic little magic tricks, too. I was very pleased.
4. How do you fit so many children onstage????
5. Calvin was Harliquin. Cool and all, but not nearly enough dancing. Sad.
6. Though I am usually completely unaffected by it, Snow Pas definitely had me in tears.
7. WHY were there men in snow? I disapprove. I mean, they were all really good, but NO. No men in snow.
8. Speaking of snow...there was stuff thrown all over the stage throughout the entire ballet, yet not a single person slipped (that I saw). Congrats, guys.

ACT II

1. Waltz of the Flowers girls were onstage the whole time. Also, they all had individual names. I didn't really get it until the actual waltz. It was beautiful. Instead of having Dew Drop or even demis, each girl was featured in different ways. Trios and demis and solos and corps. It was a very cool effect.
2. I have never liked it when Spanish is a solo, and I didn't like it this time either.
3. There were THREE separate Nutcrackers. WHY WHY WHY??? So unnecessary.
4. Trepak was badass. Three guys and a girl. It was full on Russian folk badassness instead of ballet. Very very cool.
5. The single best Polychinelle piece I've ever seen. That when I was even in one. It was just amazing. The audience was in tears we were laughing so hard. At least, me and the women next to me were.
6. Along those lines, most effective use of children ever. So so so so many, but still not superfluous. Just cute as hell. The youngest had to be five or so, but they were still not ridiculous and unnecessary. Just totally precious. Way to go Joffrey on that count. And they even had a children's choir to sing the choral part in Snow.
   
7. Oooh, and this is the only version I've seen with music between divertissments. The had Drosselmeyer conducting the whole dream, so they brought in music from the first act for segues. It was cool.
8. Clara was on a horse instead of a sleigh. Uh, that was too weird. Also at the end she flew away in a hot air balloon. That was really not Nutcracker-ish. Dislike quite a bit.

Overall, fantastic. I'll probably see it again next year. And I'll also probably see Miami City and/or Ballet Florida when I get back to Vero. Anyone want to come with??

Labels: ballet, nutcracker

It is definitely time for me to change my site layout, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I love my little sketchy things at the top. They brighten my day when I see them. And yes, I do visit my own site. Frequently.

Should I change it?

--------------------

I have been on an artsy kick lately. Don't know why. Boredom maybe? I painted a little. This first one is for me. It's oil on canvas, and it is theoretically one of the trees on the quad when they light them up for Christmas. Note that I say theoretically.




This one is a Christmas present for my dad. He works in the citrus industry, so some oranges and orange blossoms, which I've always thought were really pretty. It's just a Florida thing. This is all acrylic paint, no oils.


And then this one is for my mom. A Roseate Spoonbill. Another Florida thing, and my mom loves birds. This one is both acrylic and oil. Pretty fun. Interesting effect.

I really love painting. I wish I was better at it. Oh well, I'll keep doing it anyway. It's fun.

Labels: Christmas, nattily, painting, presents

I'm not sure how to say this. I'm afraid if I put it out for the public to see then my professor will find it and fix the error, but...

I got a B+ in Japanese.

Labels: japanese, school

Things suck. I am now going to write an entry about how things suck and I am sad. BUT, I'm a nice person, so to distract you from the whiny bitchy moany post, I am giving you a wonderous video.





So now, I hope you appreciated that. I move on: Things suck.

1. School sucks. I took my last exam yesterday, so maybe I can just put it all behind me, but I'm having a hard time. This quarter was just really bad, and then exams were just worse. I was counting on my exams to bring up my grades significantly, but it looks like they're going to do the opposite. It's just depressing. Firstly, I've done great in my civ(ilizations) class. I pulled off As on both of my papers and my teacher really likes my comments in class. So awesome. That's a guaranteed A. And yet, my exam was so bad, it might actually pull me down to a B. That's probably just my "things suck" side. I'll probably still get an A. But it is just a shitty feeling to turn in a really really bad exam in a class you are really really good at. At least it does for me. But before civ - like half an hour before - I finished my Japanese exam. Japanese, I accepted long ago, is not my forte. BUT I was pretty sure that with intense studying for the final I could pull off a B-. Not the case. I failed the final. Not Natalie's "oh no I didn't get an A" fail, but actual fail. Natalie doesn't actually fail classes. I've said this before, I think my sensei will give me a C because she is nice and knows I try, but still, it's that gut feeling of knowing I really did (deserve to) fail a class. And, as I just found out, she's not the one who grades the finals, so I may very well fail the class altogether anyway! What do I do if I actually failed? I can't retake it next quarter. I have to wait till next year. And then I have to try to get an entire non-indo-european language learned in my fourth year of college? Shit. I'm already trying to cram an entire linguistics major into two years instead of four. If I don't pass this class, my options are sort of...none. Oh, and then there's linguistics. Maybe I got 100 on the exam! Or maybe I got a C. I have no fucking clue. That class is bullshit. It's so disorganized and the teacher doesn't speak English. The information is so fascinating but I just have no idea what she says in her lectures, so I just don't go. Granted, I understand it a lot better than most people who go to class, so that's cool. On the whole, looking at A, B, and C. Or possibly A, B, and F. Either way the worst quarter or semester of my life.

Whine whine moan moan.

2. BALLET SUCKS. Primarily, I suck. As a dancer. Sometime last year I forgot that I quit ballet for a reason: I was bad at it. Well, I'm still bad at it. Now I have a principal role in Cinderella. I dance almost as much as Cinderella herself, actually more at the moment since she hasn't learned any of her pas de deux stuff yet. I got the part because I was whiny about wanting it, and then I set out to prove I deserved it. Well, I'm not doing such a great job with that. I don't deserve it. I look abysmal. Note that this is not just my opinion. It has been established at rehearsals and meetings. Also, one of the groups of dancers that I'm in change of has no idea what they're doing, and I just fail at getting them together. ALSO, on the executive side of things, we still don't have anyone to play Prince Charming, and we don't have nearly enough space to rehearse next quarter. That means Cinderella is going to be a shit show and it's going to be my fault. Way to go Executive Director.

3. Boys suck. I am a slut. That's almost all there is to say there. I walk around like a big slut. I have not really done anything so slutty that someone would point at me and shout "slut!" but I have been mean and disrespectful to guys I really care about, and my feelings on the matter are all over the place. Why can't I just find a good guy and fall in love with him? Specifically a guy who isn't already taken or who wants nothing to do with me. Why can't I fall in love with the wonderful guy who gives me everything?


WHINE WHINE WHINE. I'm a little spoiled brat and my life sucks. Blah blah blah.

Go watch the cat eating broccoli. It's hilarious.

Labels: ballet, boys, broccoli, cats, japanese, personal, school

Man Allegedly Assaults Girlfriend With Burger

Filed at 11:30 p.m. ET

VERO BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- A Vero Beach man faces a domestic violence charge after authorities said he assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger. An Indian River County Sheriff's Office arrest report said a 22-year-old man and his girlfriend got into an argument as they sat in a car in front of their home.

The report said the man would not let the woman out of the vehicle, so she threw his drink out of the car. In response, the man allegedly grabbed her arm and smashed the cheeseburger into her face. The pair got out of the car, and authorities say the man again took the McDonald's sandwich and put it on her face.

The man was released on $1,000 bond Wednesday.

Labels: amusing, news, vero beach

"Well, you see, Natalie. I'm playing Warcraft here and it requires a lot of mental stimulation, so to keep myself going I have to doon-doon-doo and twitch my face."
- my brother, Gabe

Labels: amusing, Gabe

In forty minutes I have to go fail a Japanese oral exam. Fuckity fuck. I have never struggled so badly in a class. Ok that's not totally true. But last time I had to leave school, and there were, uh, extenuating circumstances. This is the first class that I honestly should be able to get an A in and I just fucking can't. I mean, I'm hoping for a B-, and I kind of doubt I'll even get that. And on the oral exam? I'm hoping for a not F. That's all. A not F. Not an A instead of an F, just a not F. Ok fine, "not an F" if you insist, and I can just tell, you're insisting.

The rest of Natalie's life is equally dismal. It's winter, so all I can think about is Highland Park Hospital and the sheer shit that was last winter. SUCK. It sucked. It will not suck again like it did last winter. It just, you know, literally can't. But I'm reliving last winter in my mind and I'm not happy about it.

Also, the cops stopped me on my way home yesterday and almost didn't let me go through because I have a Florida driver's liscence. Note that I did in fact give that number to my landlords who should have given it to the secret service who should let me get to my own home. But alas, no such luck. Instead I had to pull the "I'm a little innocent white girl" act. Which, I guess, isn't exactly an act. It worked though. I don't think I can pull it off again, though. They were pretty reluctant.

Labels: japanese, obama, school, winter