So I got married. I don't know to whom. In fact, I don't think there was a groom at all. I was in this hideous green dress someone told me I needed to fix my hair, so I ran to the bathroom but I couldn't figure out how to make it not look so bad. You see, it was bleached blonde with huge green sections. Anyway, there was somebody playing the viola in one of the stalls and she came out to help me. I think she was Tierney. Maybe. Anyway, she swept my hair back so it was half up. It looked...okay, considering it was still blonde and green. I heard the music starting to play so I ran out of the bathroom, and she ran after me with a barrette, telling me it was her mother's secret to great hair. (Thanks?)
Anyway, I get ready to walk in the room when I realize my bouquet consists of one paper flower in a construction paper cone. The few people scattered around me in the little antechamber room were very nice and they picked up a bunch of discarded paper flowers on the floor. It looked pretty sad. But then my dad came in and put this huge bundle of (real) hot pink flowers in my paper cone and it was okay. Then he quite literally shoved me through the doors into this huge hall. I had been there before, and I knew there were two aisles. I was walking up the one on the left (I had been shoved that way) but everybody was looking at my like I was insane. I realized that they had actually renovated the building to make a path through the middle for me, and that there was a row of cameras all filming that new center aisle, but I just kept walking, and when I got to the front, I did a little hoppy thing to get to the center and turned and gave everybody a thumbs up. They all laughed and my dad came and took the flowers back. And then someone told me that I couldn't get married because even though they had six or seven judges lined up, they were all stoned out of their minds. I looked their way, and sure enough, Alex, Geordie, Ben, Alton, and a few others were dressed in fantastic sparkling hot pink tuxedos smoking weed and running around the stage.
So I didn't get married (there was also the problem that there was no groom) and I think I was okay with that. I even shrugged. And then I woke up.
Labels: amusing, friends
