New episode of Boy Meets World, think...the early high school years:

Cory's dad has died. Ok. Cory hopes to be invited to go fishing with Shawn and Topanga and their respective acting father figures, because now that his is gone, his fishing trip is canceled. Finally, Cory flatly asks Shawn if he can come along, and Shawn says absolutely not, that he would ruin everything, and there is no place for him. Someone overhears this though, and tells him he can come on one trip, since they need a temporary cook.

As it turns out, Shawn did not want Cory to come along because he was embarrassed of their boat. For a while he told Cory they were on a raft going out to the real boat, which was in deeper waters, but soon it became apparent that the strange floating thing they were on was in fact the fishing boat. Cory started looking at it a little bit more closely. Everyone was attached to the boat in some way, and they fished by plunging themselves under the water while still attached and just grabbing fish if they could. They usually couldn't. Cory, looking for a more effective way to fish, accidentally broke off the thing Shawn was attached to. Topanga's parental figure started screaming at him, "You snapped off his flipper! You snapped off his flipper!"

The boat, apparently, was constructed of swimming flippers, connected together in a circle, and with everyone putting one foot in a flipper. Shawn proceeded to get carried under the current, never to be seen again, and Cory was thrown overboard.

He swam back to shore and went home to find his mom and sister Morgan had returned from their grieving trip to Vegas. Morgan, about five years old, had hoped to double her life savings ($2) but turned out to be really good at craps, and had made $50. She bought herself a doll that cried when you pulled her hair, and then gave the rest to Cory.

Cory went upstairs to find Shawn in his room, completely forgiving of the entire drowning thing. They split the money and went to play with their Nerf guns.

Labels: tv

House M.D. fantasy. But not full on fantasy, not porno or anything. Just...fun.

I want to go back to sleep.

Also, Michael (from Arrested Development) was opening up a diner in VBHS next to the student run inn with help from Dee, the drama teacher. Dee, who holds a grudge against me, was not happy to see me there with House, and kept reminding me of what a terrible job I did with Walter in the scene from Angels in America.

Then House threw some tomatoes at Cuddy and when I offered her my Tide-to-Go pen, she told me she was going to have a meeting to discuss Cameron's potential eating disorder. Cameron did not admit to having one, but she did get very angry and admit that she had been gaining weight, so they had better lay off her.

Um, that part was not the fantasy part, for the record.

Labels: tv

I was in what I can only assume to be the Chamberlin House lounge when some dude came in and said something that pissed me off. So when he left I got up and walked to the middle of the room where everyone else was and started shouting things like "Can you believe that guy?" Everyone just kind of stared at me like I was acting delusional, which I realized I probably was, because I promptly fainted. I remember Greg our RA running over to catch me. He failed, but he said he was going to go for help.

I woke up to two random guys standing over me dumping water on me. Their conversation above me was:
"What are you doing?"
"I'm dumping water on her."
"Why? That doesn't actually work to wake people up."
"Eh, I had to wash my hands anyway. Figured I'd give it a shot."
At which point I sat up and uttered a big "What the fuck is going on?"

Apparently when you faint you have to go see a psychiatrist, so off I went, to some weird fat lady in a purple dress with pretty funky hair piled on her head. She told me to go downstairs and then come back up, because she hadn't asked for me yet.

When I got back to her office, she was in the bathroom, so I sat down on the couch and watched Joe Kessler, dressed in all goth attire with one of those Jamaican knitted hat things, teach Eric Cartman (dressed similarly) how to do some sort of hacky-sack routine by kicking it at certain points on the walls. The lady's dog was sitting in her office watching all of this take place, and when Joe and Cartman left, he got up and started doing the hacky-sack routine, except instead of throwing a beanbag at the places on the wall, he just peed on them.

I tried to stop him, and ran into the lady's second bathroom to get water to clean it, but the lady started yelling at me from behind her bathroom door. So whatever.

I left and walked down to the lake, where Looptopia was going on, lame as ever. I was just in time to see Cartman debut his hacky-sack performance on the trees and rocks and tourists, which I thought went very well. But Joe came up and just shook his head, very disappointed, and took Cartman's Jamaican hat and pushed him into the lake.

Labels: chicago, friends, tv